June 21, 2015 at 01:46PM

I admit, for many years I HATED Father's Day. I didn't have a father who was involved, present, or even seemingly interested in my life starting just before my teenage years. Father's Day was painful. It hurt to see my mom hurt. It hurt to feel left out of the "my dad is the best" celebrations. My dad is a bit more involved again these days, whether for a minute or the long run, time will tell, and that still hurts. BUT, I've learned many other ways I can celebrate the role of men in my life. A brother (well, several, but one in particular) who stepped in to fulfill many things we missed without a father around. Neighbors and church leaders who fulfilled other parts of the role I thought, as a child, would always be filled by my dad. Eventually a father in law who filled further the missing pieces. And, of course, my husband, who makes our home feel full, comforting, and complete for our family. Fathers are important! A father who isn't fulfilling his role (however it is shaped in each individual home) leaves a hole that needs to be filled. Naturally as a part of unique life circumstances, it's complicated, and there are a wide variety of unique situations that can certainly leave long-distance or alternative parenting as the better option. But in my experience, even if it's the best option it can still hurt. I'm grateful for the brothers, uncles, grandfather, neighbors, leaders. friends, and newer (well, in the last 15 years ;) ) relations who have each fulfilled a part of that role in my life. I'm grateful for the involved, present, and very interested father of our daughters who is a support in our family in our own unique circumstances. For those of you who feel more hurt than celebratory today, I hear your pain. Those who have a father to celebrate today, enjoy it. For those men who help fill that gap in people around you, whether you are old, young, single, married, a parent yourself or not, when you uplift and support those around you you are appreciated. For those women who work to fill both roles in parenting: my love and prayers are with you. Thank you, men, for your kindness, efforts, and love to those around you. via Facebook